the pages keep turning

I love this Joni Mitchell song. I first heard it at a time of my life when each word rang true. Of course, I heard it as covered by Tori Amos.

A CASE OF YOU

Just before our love got lost you said,
"I am as constant as a northern star."
And I said, "Constantly in the darkness
Where's that at?
If you want me I'll be in the bar."
On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue TV screen light
I drew a map of Canada, Oh Canada
With your face sketched on it twice
Oh, you are in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you, darling
And I would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet.
Oh I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid
I remember that time you told me, you said,
"Love is touching souls"
Well surely you touched mine
'Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time
Oh, you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you, darling
And I would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet

I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said,
"Go to him, stay with him if you can
But be prepared to bleed"
But you are in my blood
You're my holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh, I could drink a case of you, darling
And I would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet


Today, I heard the knob click closed on that door. I mean, the door was closed such a long time ago...no regrets, no wishes like dangling bait over my head...but there's something bittersweet to it all; watching his eyes, his mouth, his hand gestures, his smile, and knowing that I don't look at them the way I used to.

I returned the last traces...
- a copy of King Lear that I had used for VIC120. Incidentally, we never did buy that copy of "Mining for Sun" that we intended to buy.
- "Theology for Teachers", left over from his OISE course. Don't know why that was with me.
- a damn good stereo
- records
- guitar
- guitar music, "Tangos & Milongas"...we loved to tango. I even recall a dance outside the Gardiner Museum of Ceramic Art. He was my number one accompanist too.
- the oil burner in which we burned mogra oil, white lights around the ceiling...I took one last breath of memory.

"Goodbye. Have a safe trip." Click. Lock.

pride

saw the pride parade from the top floor of the burger king on yonge and maitland. at some point, i started singing this song:

PINK TRIANGLE
(Weezer)

When I'm stable long enough
I start to look around for love
See a sweet in floral prints
My mind begins the arrangements
But when I start to feel that pull
Turns out I just pulled myself
She would never go with me
Were I the last girl on earth

I'm dumb, she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
Pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth

Might have smoked a few in my time
But never thought it was a crime
Knew the day would surely come
When I'd chill and settle down
When I think I've found a good old-fashioned girl
Then she put me in my place
If everyone's a little queer
Can't she be a little straight?

I'm dumb, she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
Pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth

I'm dumb, she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
Pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth

I'm dumb, she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
Pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth

the parade wasn't a big show of nudity, as i had heard it was in previous years. there were times when i got a really warm feeling about how happy people can be when they're not really worried about what other people are thinking. i also saw many people who were just so comfortable with their bodies that they didn't care what was hanging here and there. i know that not everyone appreciates this, but i thought it was rather refreshing. they were just having such a good time. i had the feeling, though, that the people beside us were laughing at the weirdest people at the parade. of course, i couldn't really understand what they were saying, but i am a laugh expert, so i know these things. ok, so i don't know for sure. just a feeling i had.

now this is strange. for some reason it looks to me like the spacing between the lines in this blog has decreased.

i can't believe i have taken work home. i'm going to give my first academic orientation session tomorrow and it feels like preparing for a class presentation.

as usual, i procrastinated so i'm still up.

a clip

"Eep! Eep! Eep!", cried the girl in the red dress as she twirled around, backlit by the sun. She was ecstatic and wide-eyed, scared and excited, hopeful and uncertain. And all she could do was watch the scarlet-shadowed folds of her skirt collapse above her feet, reversing its direction from the force of momentum.


And that concludes today's story.

summer concerts

I've gots da tickets for Weezer!! That maketh me happy...Come sit next to me, Pour yourself some tea...I'm dumb, she's a lesbian, I thought I had found the one, We were good as married in my mind, But married in my mind's no good...If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I walk away, watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked, lying on the floor, lying on the floo-or, I come undone!...

Oh yeah, that'll be a good one. Their last concert is in a tie with my Tori Amos front row concert experience. Two very different concerts, mind you.

Also on the list, Oasis and Coldplay.

What I need though, are more hip-hop concerts to round out my musical experience. Hmmm...maybe some really good head banging music too...and some drum concerts in the park like this one last year. Oh wow, was that only last year?...





Currently listening:

WHAT IF?
(Coldplay)

What if there was no line?
Nothing wrong, nothing right.
What if there was no time?
And no reason or rhyme.
What if you should decide, that you don't want me there by your side.
That you don't want me there in your life.

What if I got it wrong, and no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong
What if you should decide that you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life.

Oooh, that's right
Let's take a breath jump over the side
Oooh, that's right
How can you know it if you don't even try
Oooh, that's right

Every step that you take could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that's the risk that you take
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there in your life
That you don't want me there by your side.

Oooh, that's right
Let's take a breath jump over the side
Oooh, that's right
How can you know it when you don't even try
Oooh, that's right

Ohhhhh

Oooh, that's right
Let's take a breath jump over the side
Oooh, that's right
You know that darkness always turns into light
Oooh, that's right