pirate fascination

I was told that it is National Talk-Like-A-Pirate-Day!

I'm not entirely sure how pirates came to be so well-loved. They rape and pillage, after all. I think it all started with the Disney-fication of Blue Beard (Barbe-Bleue, Walt Disney Productions (1968)) who was a pirate in this version. I remember that though he was most certainly wicked, Disney saved his soul with some act of kindness or other. It's funny...quick research on Google indicates that many do not know that Disney turned this tale into a kid's movie.

Ah ha! Further googling informed me that the movie is actually called Blackbeard's Ghost. I do recall that this was based on Barbe-Bleue, but Disney repackaged the story so that we can love pirates. Someday, I might decide to verify the accuracy of all this, but for now, my memory says it is so.

But, I digress. The point of this post is to provide you with a brief tutorial on "How To Talk Like A Pirate".

I also found this index of pirate movies!

Oh and check out funny pirates at Pirates Making Jokes.

DVD Advertisements

The other day I rented Brokeback Mountain. When I sat down to watch it, I was instead treated to a car advertisement. Somewhat irked, I pressed skip. The ad continued. I pressed the menu button. The ad continued. Universal Pictures had disabled the DVD. This is akin to selling me a car that only goes backwards for the first ten seconds after I start the engine, allowing me either to sit and wait or back through the wall of my garage. After thinking about this for a moment I realized the only place I could get movies that weren't broken was by pirating them from the internet or buying copies in Chinatown. And that's just what I intend to do. I encourage everyone to copy and paste this simple message onto your own blogs.

_______________________________________________

Dear Movie and Music Industry Idiots,

Please stop making products that are worse than the products that are available for free. Many of us believe in paying for art and we would like to do so, except all your CDs are fucked up beyond repair with idiotic DRM and your DVDs are defiled by unskippable ads.

I hereby pledge that for each time I encounter an advertisement on a DVD
I will download or otherwise pirate the next three films I was considering purchasing. Likewise, I will inspect the CDs I'm thinking about buying and download any that are encoded with DRM instead of spending my money on a broken product.

Yours Truly,

Matteus Von Mustard