the pages keep turning

I love this Joni Mitchell song. I first heard it at a time of my life when each word rang true. Of course, I heard it as covered by Tori Amos.

A CASE OF YOU

Just before our love got lost you said,
"I am as constant as a northern star."
And I said, "Constantly in the darkness
Where's that at?
If you want me I'll be in the bar."
On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue TV screen light
I drew a map of Canada, Oh Canada
With your face sketched on it twice
Oh, you are in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you, darling
And I would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet.
Oh I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid
I remember that time you told me, you said,
"Love is touching souls"
Well surely you touched mine
'Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time
Oh, you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you, darling
And I would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet

I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said,
"Go to him, stay with him if you can
But be prepared to bleed"
But you are in my blood
You're my holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh, I could drink a case of you, darling
And I would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet


Today, I heard the knob click closed on that door. I mean, the door was closed such a long time ago...no regrets, no wishes like dangling bait over my head...but there's something bittersweet to it all; watching his eyes, his mouth, his hand gestures, his smile, and knowing that I don't look at them the way I used to.

I returned the last traces...
- a copy of King Lear that I had used for VIC120. Incidentally, we never did buy that copy of "Mining for Sun" that we intended to buy.
- "Theology for Teachers", left over from his OISE course. Don't know why that was with me.
- a damn good stereo
- records
- guitar
- guitar music, "Tangos & Milongas"...we loved to tango. I even recall a dance outside the Gardiner Museum of Ceramic Art. He was my number one accompanist too.
- the oil burner in which we burned mogra oil, white lights around the ceiling...I took one last breath of memory.

"Goodbye. Have a safe trip." Click. Lock.